What Actually Is Love?

Hello my loves ❤ Today is a sad day in the world of blogging!!! Today is my suppose to be my last post on this lovely blog but, you know me, I’m difficult. For all intents and purposes, let’s assume this is my last fun post…

With that being the case, I’m going out with a bang! As it was suggested by a certain individual many of us know, today we will be looking for the misconceptions found in the movie Love Actually. Hold on to your horses and let’s go for an emotionally charged ride!

All right, you guys know the drill! Here’s a little background information to get us all on the same page:

This movie follows about 9 couples around during the holidays, leading up to Christmas time. As their love stories range from couple to couple and character to character, they are somehow all intertwined. Due to every couple having their own plot, the main purpose of this movie is to show people the concept of love in its entirety; the struggles of it, the happiness, the solutions, the feelings and more. I’ve provided a trailer clip below if anyone is interested!!:

Couple 1

Below is a compilation of majority of Harry and Karen’s relationship:

Harry and Karen are a married couple who are going through some marriage difficulties because of Alan’s flirtation with his secretary. As this is a very real situation, there are misconceptions found as well. Mia, who is the secretary, is portrayed to be evil and malicious, where as, Harry is not portrayed badly to anyone other than is wife. SHES LITERALLY IN A DEVIL OUTFIT!!! The misconceptions we need to break are:

that the “other woman/man” are maliciously interacting with your significant other.
that men only have a small role in these kind of situations where the other woman/man has a bigger role.

Why do we continuously see the other woman/man as some evil being who is coming to destroy all words? While I understand that what that are doing it wrong, especially if they are aware of the others marriage or relationship, it does not necessarily make them an evil being. We need to understand that not everyone on this planet is the same and we all don’t think alike or have the same morals. As it is okay to feel a certain way about the individual who is partaking in this situation, we cannot paint them out to be a bad guy because they make the wrong, or less desirable, decision in our opinions.

As for the misconception that it is the other woman/man who has a bigger role in these issue….

While I do believe they are responsible for their actions and are also to blame in these situations, I do not believe that blaming them the most is appropriate. The person who is supposed to be loyal to you is your significant other, not the other person. As it would be nice to see respect from the other person and things of that nature, it does not necessarily mean that they have to show it. Your significant other is the one who pledged their loyalty to you and so, if they brake it and another person is involved, it is your duty to hold them most accountable.

Couple 2

Below is the only scene that matters between Juliet and Mark!:

SOOOOOOOO, from this, you don’t see much. Just a girl getting romanced by a guy and Christmas music softly playing in the background. Little do you know her whole husband is sitting on the couch and, outside, is her HUSBAND’S BEST FRIEND! The misconception here is that any of this is okay!!!! The best friend’s actions, Juliet’s actions, the situation itself! NONE OF IT!

Not only did this become a memorable part of the movie that people in real life have recreated, but we are all sitting here like awwwww this is so cute, when in actuality, its cheating. We need to understand we cannot romanticize everything, even when the romantic gestures from one is more appealing that that of the other

Also, that kiss at the end?!?!?!?!??! How does one kiss their husband’s best friend and then goes back to cuddle with their husband?!?!?! The messiness of it all. Please, don’t think that this is okay just because someone is nice enough to show you they love you better than your husband/wife can. If you think that is accurate and you want to act on it, go about getting a divorce instead of sneaking around and disrespecting your significant other.

In conclusion, this is a very interesting movie with a lot of different perspectives and lessons. There are many other love issues and even some non-intimate relationship love stories that one can look at and learn from. I picked these two love stories because, while it shows us topics we have previously talked about in my blogs, it sheds light on them in different ways than before. We need to break the misconceptions that the other person is the one to blame for when our significant others step out on us and we also need to understand that nice gestures and TLC from someone else doesn’t equal stepping out on another. I hope you’ve all gained a little bit more knowledge on how to navigate these type of situations, should they ever arise. Also, as the holiday season is approaching, please take into consideration the love you have, the love you’ve experienced, and, or, the love you hope to have. With that, you can go into the holidays knowing what it is you want or hope for in the new year and, hopefully, with the knowledge from this blog, you can actually get it without the bs.

Friends With Benefits…Literally

Hello my loves!! I hope all is well and everyone knows I missed them dearly! ❤ This week, we will be dedicating the blog to all of you who have been, are in, or are thinking of, getting into a friends with benefits type of relationship! As per my awesome title, we are literally going to be talking about the misconceptions of friends with benefits from looking at the movie Friends With Benefits!!

Now, given the fact that there are a lot of these type of movies out there, I have taken it upon myself to give you some much needed background information! Take a look:

Two people, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, go through breakups that emotionally change them in different ways. From this, after talking to one another, they decide to forgo emotions and instead, just be friends with benefits. As the movie progresses and their relationships turn, they eventually move from the friends with benefits stage to the actual relationships stage. Basically, the movie is filled with humor, sex, drama, and, you guessed it, EMOTIONS!!

**I know y’all are excited to get into the rest so, let’s go!!!!**

You know how some of my blog posts deal with getting information or views of other people in relation to the movie? Well, this week, you guys get some information on me! 🙂

I know, I know, this is exciting news!! Writing this post was a little easier because I have first hand been affected by these pesky little misconnections regarding friends with benefits! The two misconceptions I want to break are as followed:

You will be prepared or privy before having sex that you guys are in a friends with benefits relationships.
You will end up with the person you have the friends with benefits relationship with.

Let’s look at misconception #1

Isn’t it so convenient that the two established they would be friends with benefits before they actually had sex and then had to encounter awkwardness? MUST BE NICE!!!! I always thought that, in order to be friends with benefits, a conversation like this one would be had with the other person, PRIOR to us hitting the sack. I was wrong as fuck…

Ladies and gentlemen, please prepare yourself for mid or post sex explanations!!! Very rarely, if at all, do people, especially in this generation, let the other know what they want BEFORE THEY HAVE SEX WITH THEM!!!! You can lie to yourself and say that you do but, I can assure you, majority of the time this is how it play out: We have sex, we see the the person looking at us expectantly, we then realize we have to get out of the situation, we’re finally like… “Oh yeah, I’m not really looking for anything serious, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.” Everything that happened in that scene, where they just casually figured out and came to a mutual understanding of wanting to be friends with benefits, is bull.

I’ve had three friends with benefits in my life and, each and everyone of them were not established until after, or during sex. I watched this movie and tried to have a candid conversation about what we wanted, and some how, the conversation did not really happen like this AT ALL. A bunch of nodding heads and whatever the case may be, but no clear understanding that friends with benefits were what was going to be happening. I have had someone tell me as soon as we put clothes on that maybe we should just stick to being friends with benefits, I have had someone tell me MID SEX that this isn’t nothing more that two friends hooking up, and I have been the one to say right after it that this is gonna be a platonic type of hook up. Moral of the story is, please don’t expect to be comfortable and knowledgeable on whether or not you’re in a friends with benefits with someone until AFTER you actually have sex. Most of the time, friends with benefits are established, however, there are also the times where you instead have a one night stand you weren’t anticipating having one.

Lets look at misconception #2

Okayyyyyyyyyy. As sweet and cool as this little scene was, you need to understand how unrealistic it is. I don’t really know why movies show that friends with benefits always turn into relationships when, majority of the time, they do not. From this misconception, we tend to get our feelings hurt and, in turn, hate the opposite sex LOL. We internalize that, even though we said friends with benefits, the other doesn’t actually mean it.

Sadly, that isn’t the case at all. There are plenty of people who say they want a friends with benefits and strictly want just that. We look at these misconceptions in movies, of people living happily ever after, and think that, our friends with benefits situation will turn out the same way. Out of the three friends with benefits that I have been in, only one of them actually lead to a real relationship and, it’s my now boyfriend.

I know you’re probably saying, “well doesn’t it means it does work and you do end up with them?” The answer to that question is still no. Even if you start off as a friends with benefits, there is no guarantee that you will get into a relationship after. With me, I probably shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with the guy I was casually having sex with, since now, we are a constant on an off again relationship. This is not to say that relationships cannot happen after being friends with benefits, its just to say not to expect for it to happen, as it usually doesn’t.

So, we’re at the end and, while I know most of you are not into this type of relationship, there are many people who are. I just want to make sure you’re all aware that, not all the time is a serious relationship necessary, and that having a friends with benefits situation can actually be beneficial. With this, it can only be beneficial if you break the misconceptions that help aid to the destruction of them or your hatred for the person you do it with. Not everything works out or turns into a relationship and, we must understand that we cannot get mad if, in this situation, a relationship is not produced. Friends with benefits has gained popularity over the years and, for those of whom want to partake, you must understand that, not all the time will be prepared for the outcome. While you predict what will happen, you can communicate with your partner and see where they may want to go with the situation. Enjoy something as jovial, new, and exciting as a friends with benefits, but understand that the misconceptions they present can be the downfall more to your self esteem, as well as, your situationship.

SIDE NOTE: MY OPINION IS YOUR FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS SHOULD BE WITH AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON WTH GREAT ASSETS!!!! 😉

Forgetting Whatstheirface

Hello my loves!! Yes, I did mean for the title to look that way so, please don’t try to come at my grammar/spelling! Thanks 🙂 Second, we’re going to talk all about those misconceptions found within Forgetting Sarah Marshall! With the focus on unwanted breakups and the components found in them, we will be going on this journey of breaking harmful misconceptions together!

For those of you who have no idea what this movie is about, here is a helpful description to help you along:

A guy gets dumped by his actor girlfriend and is so heartbroken, he can’t seem to let it go. In the hopes of trying to heal from the breakup, he goes on a trip to Hawaii, where he runs into his ex and her new man. While still trying to figure out if he wants his ex back or not, he creates a bond with another girl while all types of funny drama unfolds during the trip.

Glad that we’re all on the same page! Let’s move on!

As I’m sure you can all agree, I’ve never been a predictable girl! That being the case, we will be focusing on understanding certain aspects of a breakup, not just breaking up as a general topic. From this movie, we will be breaking the misconceptions that:

The person who breaks up with their partner will be unfazed by the situation.
The person who breaks up with the other is a terrible person because they don’t want to be with their partner anymore.

I have provided two clips that will help you understand why these are really good misconceptions to break.

WARNING: SHITTY QUALITY CLIP BELOW

Other than the person recording having terrible camera using skills, the scene can make you believe that Sarah is a terrible person for not wanting to be with Peter anymore. Firstly, breakups are subjective and personal. This means that every situation is different, even if it seems similar to others, and they can bring out emotions based off of our own feelings. That being said, we must understand that we are human beings and, sometimes, intentionally or not, we can find someone else we want to be with when in a relationship. While there is a difference between actively searching and accidentally finding someone, there is still a chance for a person to break up with another and not be a terrible person because of this cause of breakup.

SIDE NOTE: THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT CHEATING, DISHONESTY, AND CREEPING ARE ACCEPTABLE WHEN FINDING SOMEONE ELSE. The acts are wrong, even if the ultimate decision does not make you a bad person.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CLIP IS REALLLLL RATED R. Please feel free to skip to 40 seconds and watch from there. It includes less sexual craziness and may not make you that uncomfortable. Also, just click the link if the video doesn’t work!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_492176&feature=iv&list=PL0AE13218BCCF033D&src_vid=T4Sk7RsIQd0&v=RvNuTuiKyIo

click here

Okay, bare with me! The reason I chose this clip over many others is because, in this scene, you see that both of the exes are putting on a show in order to affect the other. While we already knew Peter was affected by the breakup, we didn’t think that Sarah was too, since she broke up with him. That’s the misconception we need to break; that because you breakup with someone, it means you’ll be unfazed and not care. This is not true at all and, honestly, is unfair to both people in the relationship to think in this way. It is unfair to the person who gets dumped because you’re insinuating that they are easy to move on from, and its is unfair to the person who does the dumping because you are claiming they are just a terrible person.

We need to understand that, a lot of the times, no matter the situation, we will be fazed by ending a relationship. Regardless of the amount of time spent in the relationship, both people may feel something at some point or another because of the change of no longer being in the relationship. In many cases, people don’t show they are fazed by the change of the relationship until the other person is no longer paying mind to the change. For example, Sarah was fine and content with her new man until she saw the way in which Peter was with Rachel. At that point, she started to make it more and more obvious that, even if she says she wasn’t, she was affected by the breakup as well. It happens to the best of us and, no matter how hard we try to play it off, we are all affected in some shape or form from a breakup, even if not in the exact same way as our ex partner.

We are all fazed….it just takes us all different times to realize it!

As we have reached the end of this post, I just want to make sure you’re all aware that, not everything works out the way we hope or expect it will. As being in relationships or thinking about getting into one, we must understand that, not all the time will be prepared for the end. We pray that the day will never come but, it very may might. While I cannot help you predict if it will, I can help you understand the aspects that make up unwanted breakups, and help you figure out which misconceptions to break int regards to them. Take the time you need to heal and understand that, while the other person may have hurt you, they too are affected by the situation and they aren’t an asshole because they decided to leave you.

PIECE OF ADVACE: Relationships are 50/50 chance things. There is a 50% chance that you guys will crash and burn at any given time, whether 2 hours in or 10 years together. And there is a 50% chance that you guys will make it through and stick it out. Regardless of which path your relationship is set to take, keep the lessons it taught you and learn from them. ❤

To All the Times You Thought Your Love Life Was Going to Be Like This

Welcome back my loves!! ❤ Spooky Szn is officially over and now, it’s back to our regularly scheduled program of movies that don’t give me anxiety LMAO. I must admit, this is one of those movies that has a special place in my heart and, if I had to say, is at the top of my list for cheesy, guilty pleasure movies. That being said, it was hard deciding to pick this movie, however, it’s a perfect example of a movie NOT to watch when in, or thinking about getting in, a relationship. So, without further or do, get ready to learn about the misconceptions present in, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.

For those of you who haven’t seen this movie, below is a description of all you need to know:

A cute, to herself girl. A whole box of letters to previous loves. A whole lot of drama. A hot, kind boy. A fake relationship with shy girl and hot boy. A bunch of real emotions. A whole lot of drama again. A revelation moment. A happy ever after.

Now, while this movie is a great teen movie to watch to get butterflies all over again, it is filled with a lot of misconceptions that need to be broken. The first one can be found in the clip below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gglVQgCsyqE

Do you know how many times I have waited for a hot boy to come up to me and ask me to be his pretend girlfriend so that, eventually, he can see he loves me and we can then, live happily ever after in a real relationship?!?!?!?! Sadly, to many times to count and this movie here, does a great job bringing those misconceptions back to light. We must start to understand that just because things happen in movies, it does not mean they will happen in real life.

**Inserts sad face gif here because I’m still waiting for this to happen to me.**

The misconception found here is that you will have a chance like this in high school, or any time in your life, for this type of proposition to happen to you. I know its hard to grasp but, unless you’re apart of an escort service or helping your friend out with their strict/crazy parents, the chances of this happening are slim to known. I know most of you are saying, “this could happen” and blah blah blah, but we all know the truth. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me that this has happened to them.

We must understand that high school scenarios in movies like this aren’t actually high school scenarios, and they definitely, will not find there way to adulthood either. We all wait throughout high school, and even as adults, to find ourselves in a scenario like this. The truth of the matter is, watching movies like this have you hoping and dreaming for things that, more often that not, never happen. I’m still waiting for a Peter Kavinsky to sweep me off my feet and proposition me with the relationship of a lifetime.

Let’s take a look at another clip!!

Peter and Lara Jean’s first party together is one those perfect moments where I can call out another misconception!!!! First, did anyone notice how NICE that house was?!?! Like wth! Compared to our basement parties, adult parties, and even high school parties at someone’s house, I’ve never seen a house that nice for a high school party. But that’s just me.

The misconception here is that, it’s okay to put just about anything on social media. Do you see how many times both Lara Jean and Peter take pictures of one another, and then, post it on their social media? Is this far fetched from our society today? I think not.

We, as a technologically advanced society, have continuously placed the “better” versions of ourselves on social media. This movie is showing you how both individuals knowingly put versions of one another on their social media, even though the versions they put up, aren’t actually true.

We must understand that we don’t always have to put things on social media. Also, we must comprehend that when in a relationship, we don’t always need to broadcast said relationship on our social media. More often than not, we look to social media for validation and acknowledgment that our relationships are real and happy. Breaking this misconception, that social media needs to be a considered aspect go your relationship, will help make your relationship less structured and planned, and instead, more natural.

Finally, you can see that, while certain movies are great ones to watch, when in a relationship or thinking of getting into one, they should be avoided. You must break the misconceptions that:

social media is an important aspect of relationships
that we can expect for the same situations that are found in movies to happen in real life

Once these misconceptions are broken, you’ll find that you’re relationship will be better off and, you may fin yourself a Lara Jean or Peter Kavinsky in a more realistic way!

Spooky Relationships!

Happy Spooky Szn my loves!!!! Now, I’m going to be completely honest with you in saying, I love me some Spooky Szn with the dressing up, candy, and fun, but I can’t watch scary movies!! I’m a big scaredy cat and literally have to mentally, physically, and emotionally prepare myself to watch them. That being said, I have picked one of the movies that didn’t give me intense nightmares, while also still being totally spooky and totally relevant to this blog! 🙂 The movie for this week that you should NOT watch if in a relationship or if thinking of getting into one, which is also dedicated to Halloween approaching, is Truth or Dare.

**If I had to watch it, then y’all gonna read about it!! Stay Put!**

For those of you who haven’t watched it, I’m a little angry at you. The reason is, I now have to explain to you the idea of the movie and, in doing that, I’m raising my blood pressure because its bringing up unnecessary fear. Given then fact that I love y’all, I’ve powered through this fear and have provided the story below:

A group of friends decided to be dumbasses and play this Truth or Dare game in an abandoned building in Mexico with some stranger they just met. Once they get back to the states, they realize some messed up shit starts happening where people’s faces get weird and they are provided an ultimatum of sorts: Complete the dare or tell the truth and you wont DIE. The majority of the movie is filled with watching the friends go through this game, seeing drama unfold, and witnessing people die in the craziest of ways.

**If you don’t think this movie is at least a little** **creepy because of the faces, then leave me alone because you clearly with scary movies for a living.**

Now, from a relationship standpoint of view, this movie is a complete no-go because of the love triangle found throughout the movie. There are these two best friends, Olivia and Markie, who are in love with this guy named Lucas. Crazy part is, Markie is dating Lucas but Lucas loves Markie while still liking Olivia, Olivia loves Lucas while being Markie’s best friend, and Markie is just a weird individual. (say that really fast so it can confuse you 🙂 )

**Your faces with all that’s going on lol!**

This movie provides you with misconceptions and, me being as awesome as I am, I’m here to tell you the misconceptions you should throw away now! Even in life or death situations and particularly within relationships, one must remember that:

Loyalty is something that should never be broken
Secrets are something that should never be kept undisclosed

Warning: Some explicit content is coming up to show you the exact moment where both Olivia and Lucas realized they fucked up and should have just took the L and died a particularly easy death.

SOOOOOOOOOO. Since Olivia was being a fake friend who was pining after her best friend’s man for as long as can be, the game made her sleep with Lucas as a dare. Now, as a best friend, you should have loyalty to you friend and their relationship, just as much as those in the relationship should have for one another.

People are always thinking that loyalty in relationships should only be between the two people whom are with one another, however that is not the case at all. When you’re in a relationship, you are should also expect those closest to you to have loyalty to you and the relationship you’re in. It is so common for us to get mad at the person in the relationship, in this case Lucas, and say he was wrong and blah blah blah, but we very rarely consider the other person’s loyalty in the same degree.

Yes, there is a problem with Lucas accepting this dare to happen, but it takes two to tango, right? Remember how we talked about fake friends??? Well you need to drop those with no loyalty as well.. You also need to drop trash ass partners who feel like cheating, in any circumstance, is okay. Sure, I know you guys are thinking, “if they don’t do it they will die!!” While that is true, did I forget to mention that the game will just keep going and going until all the players are dead anyways?!?!?!?!(Ignore the last part of the movie, because honestly, these bitches Olivia and Markie just screwed a whole world over) In this case, I’m not concerned with the logistics of the game, i.e, there death, but more in the idea that, the game would never had asked Lucas and Olivia to have sex with each other if they both didn’t have feelings for one another and were both loyal to Markie.

Let’s continue:

Secrets….pesky little things..

At the end of the day, Markie is also an individual who doesn’t provide loyalty in her relationship, but also, she keeps a lot of secrets too. When in a relationship, you’re not suppose to keep secrets like this, that are clearly those than can change the course of a relationship. Also, you shouldn’t burden your best friend with having to keep them as well. This movie likes to show you that Olivia is a bad friend because of the things she does to Markie, however, throughout the actual film, you see how much Olivia does and sacrifices for Markie. This is not to say that loyalty to your friend isn’t important when needing to keep their personal life private, however, if Markie never cheated on Lucas all the time, there would be no secret like this to keep hidden.

The moral of this point is, secrets are not good, especially in relationships and, at one point or another, they will be revealed. It is better to be honest and truthful when in a relationship than to lie and pretend that things are not going on. It also shouldn’t take you a serous situation, like dying or living, to bring those secrets to life. When you’re in a relationship, you sign up for being honest with your partner, no matter the circumstances. Don’t be an liar.

SIDE NOTE: Lucas and Markie’s relationship is clearly unhealthy if you didn’t grasp that before. Lucas has feelings for another girl and has sex with her while Markie stays cheating on him but lies to him about it…… For you cheaters out there, just end the relationship instead of being assholes to one another and staying in the relationship because of dumb reason. No one deserves what either of them gave each other and the same goes for your relationships as well. Don’t be the person to hurt another person, however, don’t be a person who sits around and gets hurt. Realize you deserve better or that you need to do better and get it done.

In conclusion, you should understand that this movie is scary, emphasis on scary lol, and filled with misconceptions. You need to expect loyalty from those in relationships, however, you also need to expect it from those who are closest to your relationship as well. Finally, when it comes to keeping secrets, you shouldn’t do it because they affect the relationship greatly and shows that you don’t have loyalty to your partner like you should have. I hope you have a great Spooky Szn and that you enjoyed this post because there will be no more horror/scary movies in this blogs future.

The Definition of Scary: In-Laws!

Hello my loves ❤ This week, it’s all about those scary, overbearing, in your business, annoying, but sometimes, unexpectedly awesome, in-laws!!! Now, while some of you are sitting here like “I’m not married so their not my in-laws” or, “I have a great relationship with my in-laws so this doesn’t apply to me,” shut up 🙂 That’s right, you heard me correctly, I said shut up!

I thought the same thing too, until I woke up one day and got a rude awakening. I’ll explain some more later, however, get ready to break some misconceptions about your in-laws by looking closely at the depictions found in Monster-in-Law!

Just to make sure you’re set, here’s the general gist of the movie:

Mama’s boy falls in love with a girl and then asks girl to marry him. They move in together and plan to live happily ever after. In comes Mother-in-Law who makes it nearly impossible for the girl to be happy with the boy, while of course, the boy is completely “unaware”. Mother-in-Law and Bride-to-Be have a full on war with one another and shit gets wild. After a full on slap war and both ladies trying to drive the other out, everyone lives happily ever after!

Now, because this is totally unrealistic, with the ways in which they try to get rid of each other, it is a very great example of a movie NOT to watch when in a relationship.

Here’s the thing you need to understand about in-laws: They are not always who they claim to be. This is true for all people, however, in-laws take it this statement to another level! In this clip, you can see the mother’s clear distain for her son’s new found relationship with Charlie, as well as, her disdain on his proposal. This correlates to real life because, even if they don’t show it, your in-laws can’t stand something, if not everything about you 🙂

The first time you meet your in-laws, they are completely different from when you’ve been around them over and over. The reason this, and understanding they aren’t who they claim to be, is so important, is because you need to break the misconception that you will be able to tell if an in-law likes or dislikes you off the bat.

Some people are masters at hiding their true selves and, I am convinced, in-laws created this art. More often then not, in-laws are not terrible to you the first time they meet you because they don’t want to get into it with their kid about manners, respect, and things of that nature. An in-law rather be phony to their child’s significant other whom they don’t like, rather than lose out on the relationship that the child and them have. So basically, don’t believe that, just because they weren’t mean/rude to you the first time, that they actually like you and you’re in the clear.

**You trying to pretend you’re okay rn.**

Another misconception is that your in-laws will have a big reason to not like you. You may think they don’t like the way you dress, what your occupation is, how you do a certain task, and things of that nature, but the reality is, that’s not true at all. Looking at this clip, you can see that the mother really doesn’t like Jlo simply because she take her son’s attention off of her. The fact that Jlo sips her tea like that just gives her more of a reason to hate Charlie(Jlo). The point is, in-laws don’t like you because of the fact that you’re drawing the intention of their child away from them!! All that other stuff is just a way to justify their craziness.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and some change and things were all good until a few months ago. His mother, father, and I hit it off right away and had a solid bond that, I was pretty surprised with. Now, fast forward to a particular day where everyone just got crazy and I had to hold my ground. His mother totally spazzed on me one day and I was so shocked for a minute, I didn’t say anything as sis was yelling in my face. Now, fast forward to 5 seconds later, I snapped out of it and held my ground and defended myself. All the things she was saying basically showed me that this whole time, she was just being “nice” because I was her son’s girlfriend, not because she liked me for him. That being said, I was not only aware that she was not who she claimed to be when we met and the time until that incident, but also, she didn’t have a valid reason for not liking me. Within her spazzing out dialogue, she deadass told me she didn’t like me because of the the way I folded her son’s shirts; because it showed that I was lazy……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

**I’ll leave y’all to figure that out for yourselves but my point is made.**

That’s why I told you guys to shut up earlier! Just because you’re not married or “you have a good relationship with your in-laws,” it does not necessarily mean any of those are true. If you’re dating someone and there is a possibility you could marry them, their parents are your potential in-laws. That means, you need to read this because this shit applies to you too. Also, I have already told you about how not all of the times will you have a great relationship with your in-laws so, that statement, needs to get thrown out of the window. Not one couple will have a relationship in which their in-laws and them never feel like they are on bad terms, have tension, or want to full on smack the shit out of them.

Watch these two clips right after each other!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hwd0rMPWP0

The reason I added both of them is because I waned to bring to light a very important topic: Being good enough for your in-laws kid.

The first clip is important because, instead of showing all of the things that Jlo puts up with and does for her fiancé, it briefly shows what Jlo does for his mother. What the clip doesn’t show you is that Charlie takes Viola(the Mother-in-Law) into her house, gives her her medication, makes sure she eats, makes sure she’s comfortable, and things like that. Highlityghteing that was necessary because, in the next clip, before all the craziness, Viola claims that Charlie will never be good enough for her son. Basically, Viola is trippin’.

I had the same thing happen to me. Since his mother already hated me, I low-key saw his father going down the same path. While he didn’t flat out say that I wasn’t good enough for him, his father continuously compared me to his son’s ex. On top of telling me that I didn’t do things like her, his mother was still being a she-devil sooooooo, you can only imagine how much I tried to do and be “better. From doing everything to cooking dinners, driving them where they needed to go, and things like that, I tried so hard to get them to think I was good enough…they never did and still don’t. Thats why I feel like you guys need to break the misconception that you aren’t good enough because your significant other’s parent say so and you need to do things to make yourself good enough. The way you treat your significant other’s parents when they are nothing but terrible to you, or even middle terrible, shows that you are good enough for them. You take on the responsibility of being there for your significant other, and their family, without expecting anything in return. And at the end of the day, no one can question your self worth or how important/necessary you are for your significant other if they aren’t in your relationship and don’t take the time to love you like your partner does.

All in all you need to break the misconceptions that in-laws are always who they claim to be, that your in-laws will have a big reason to not like you, and that you aren’t good enough because your significant other’s parent say so and you need to do things to make yourself good enough. So my loves, please understand the you are good enough and there are ways to combat the craziness that are in-laws. Be confident in yourself, your relationship, and have your partner figure out the right way to deal with both you and their parents. Having your partner in your corner makes the views of their parents, and the ways in which they deal with you, a little bit better in the long run. Stay strong and ignore the psychos that are, or will be, your in-laws! 🙂

**You running away from your in-laws and me because of this post 😦 LMAO**

Beauty and the Bullshit

Hello my beautiful loves ❤ Since I’ve missed you since last time, I have provided you with a nice throwback treat this week! In order to switch things up, I have decided to go with another classic, except this time, its about an animation!

**Your inner child coming out rn heheh**

Growing up, we have all, at one point or another, watched or heard the stories of our popular Disney Princesses. This week in particular, we will be discussing the OG(original for those who don’t know what that means), 1991, Beauty and the Beast film! Just from watching the story of Belle and the Beast unfold, we can begin to see how we have gained misconceptions that shape our relationships from as young as our adolescent years.

Before we get started, here’s a breakdown of the movie for those of you who may have forgotten or have never seen it before:

Belle, an intelligent village girl, falls in love with a rich, cursed man who is transformed into a beast. After being kidnapped and held captive by the Beast, him and Belle develop a romantic relationship in which, after nearly dying from crazy village people, causes the Beast to transform into his human form again. In between this, there are talking objects, a rose with dying petals, books, dancing, singing, and a whole lot of interesting.

Let’s take a look at the first encounter between Belle and the Beast:

Now, I know you’re probably expecting me to talk about how the Beast is keeping her captive and that’s the start to their shitty relationship, however, I’m not!

I know, I know, but I got something better for you my loves. First, why Belle didn’t get the police or someone else to go with her, I have no idea. Why she was running in the woods all alone, I have no idea. Why this talking candleholder(Lumière) and clock(Cogsworth) set her up to encounter a clearly unhinged animal taking people as prisoner’s for the hell of it, I HAVE NO IDEA! What I do know, was that poor Belle was doomed from the beginning and, in turn, so were we.

This clip was so important because it gave you guys the first glimpse of Belle’s trifling, fake friends :)!! Lumière and Cogsworth, while they had no loyalty to Belle in this scene, do end up becoming her friend, along with others in the house, while she’s, yes, held captive. What many people tend to look pass is the fact that, they were working behind the scenes to get her to encounter the Beast. That….that’s a means for discussion. If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m going to help you break the misconceptions that all friends have good intentions when discussing or advising you on your relationship.

I know you’ve all have experienced, hmmmm how do I say this?…. AHHHH, yes! A FAKE ASS FRIEND!!!!! While we, unfortunately, have to go through some situations for us to uncover that they’re a fake ass friend, Belle never becomes lucky like us.

This clip below shows the lovely Mrs. Potts, and even Wardrobe (original name right? *rolls eyes*) also being trifling and fake 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNpxWngkCCk

Instead of being real friends and helping sis get the hell outta there, these ladies think providing her with tea and getting her pretty will help her along. Knowing what the Beast is like and knowing she is now his captive, everyone is super cheery and trying to convince Belle things will be alright…..FOH.

Number 1: Friends who willingly let you go through terrible situations without even attempting to give you cautious remarks are NOT REAL FRIENDS. Think about how many times your friend(s) has put themselves in a situation where you knew it had potential to be dangerous or negatively impact them somehow. Did y’all let your friends go with no warning, or did you simply tell them what’s up? If you didn’t, you’re an example of a fake friend and really should work on that 🙂

Number 2: Friends who tell you to go along with something because they may benefit from it are, say it with me, NOT REAL FRIENDS. Friends are not suppose to sacrifice you or your happiness just for self gain. All these talking inanimate objects are trying to convince you they really care about Belle, however, they really care about two things:

Getting the Beast to find love in order to change THEMSELVES BACK
Getting someone to make the Beast a happier furry being instead of the jackass he walks around being

All in all, you must understand that, as we go to friends for advice and sometimes guidance on our relationships, you should be aware what could set you up in said relationships. You need to break these misconceptions that friends always have your best intentions in mind and they are who they claim to be, so that you can ultimately, have a healthier and happier relationship. Knowing when a friend is really helping you when you’re in or thinking about getting in a romantic relationship, versus hurting you in said relationship, can be the moments that make your relationship a lot better.

As a final farewell, here’s two things to consider:

This is Stockholm Syndrome at it’s finest, so why do we show this to kids?!?
DROPPING THOSE FAKE ASS FRIENDS AND ONLY LISTENING TO THE REAL ONES CAN SAVE YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

Sinking Relationships

Hello my loves and welcome back! This week, we will be talking about the misconceptions found in one of the classics that everyone seems to love; The Titanic. Majority of us have seen this movie and some of us may even consider it one of our favorites. That being said, I’m going to do what I do best and show you why this is definitely a movie you should avoid when in a relationship or getting into one.

For those of you who don’t know what the Titanic is, here is all that you need to know about the movie:

A rich girl and a poor boy fall in love with one another on a ship, lovey-dovey stuff happens while she’s engaged to be married on said ship, she throws some jewelry into the ocean, the ship sinks, and she’s alive at the end to tell their love story…….

Did y’all noticed how I said SHE’S alive at the end and not THEY!!!! Hold onto that for me.

Just to inform you my loves, I got information about the misconceptions found in this movie and in his relationship from my guy friend Frankie. I made him re-watch the movie while he’s oversees in the Marines and I got my ass chewed out. Not only did he forget how cheesy the movie was, but apparently, I made all those misconceptions about relationships come back to the forefront of his mind. That being said, Let’s start with how Rose and Jack meet shall we?

From this moment, the very moment they met, I knew this movie had to gooooooo. From this clip alone, the main misconceptions is that you’ll start a romance with someone you meet in distress because it’s love at first sight. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IT NOT REAL!! According to Frankie and myself, this is complete bullshit.

In what world do you see someone doing this, trying to jump off of a moving ship that is, and think, yup, this is the one for me? Let me help you out….YOU DON’T!!

In my opinion, she’s clearly showing signs of being unwell and needing professional help. In Frankie’s words, she’s batshit crazy but he’s crazier. If someone is showing signs right off the bat that they may need psychiatric help, it may be in you best interest to heed those signs.

The misconception is that love at first sight is real…..in any context. This is completely inaccurate. Love at first isn’t something that happens, but lust at first sight is. This simply means that, when we first meet someone, we are not in love with them, but we are attracted to them. Its the whole reason we begin to talk to someone; because they appeal to our personal tastes and preferences, not because we are in love with them.

In Frankie’s case, he met his EX girlfriend at a bar right before he left for bootcamp. Her nickname was Ginger, for obvious reasons like her hair, and she literally punched someone in the face…..Make your own judgement but I was deadass like:

As I was there and told him he probably shouldn’t talk to her, this man thought she was “hot” and he said he was “in love” because she showed strength and whatever other nonsense he said. Fast forward to three months later, Frankie comes to me and tells me this relationship isn’t working out because she’s super aggressive and loves to fight (verbally and physically). I look at him and ask him if he loved her, he says, “well no but you have to admit she was hot when we met her.”

Other than being a tool, he totally proved my point that we all talk to someone in the beginning because we are attracted to them physically, not because we LOVE them!

Ever heard that love is a strong and powerful word??? If that’s the case, why do we look at movies like this one and see how nonchalantly they throw that word around?! How is it that we just proved that love at first sight is not really what happens, but lust at first sight is, but somehow, Jack is said to be in love with Rose from that very moment he saved her life??? Please my loves, understand that, not only should heed warning signs when meeting someone for the first time, but also, don’t believe that love at first sight is a real thing!

Look at this nonsense below please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3pg27yqk3s

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! Back to when I said she lives and he dies. This. This right here is the example of trifling. When you’re in a relationship, you’re suppose to comprise and provide for one another, not sacrifice. I made this argument last time that sacrifice in a relationship is a misconception, however, the new misconception is thinking that the MAN must sacrifice when in times of danger as well.

We learned that sharing is caring, we also know that when were in relationships, what’s yours is mine and all that junk. Sooooo why when this man is clearly dying from the freezing temperatures of the water, sis is letting him float in the water instead of taking turns or something? Because, as women, we think that as the “man” they must provide us with safety and comfort. While this is semi- true, the rules get a little foggy when we’re in life threatening situations!

Fellas, we expect a certain level of safety, care, and protection from you, however, YOU BETTER CALL YOUR PARTNER OUT IF THEY’RE BEING SELFISH! Pleas my loves, understand that you cannot expect your partners, especially your men, to sit there and out you first in all life threatening situations. Sharing is caring and being selfish is not appropriate.

Alright my loves, we are at the end of this lovely post and I just wanted to say, I hope you gained some knowledge from it! Misconceptions on relationships are placed in a some of our favorite movies and, while being unsuspecting, we try to integrate them into said relationships. Please know that breaking these misconceptions will only help you in the long run and, hopefully, prevent you from losing a loved one because you can’t share the log ya’ll floating on. #TeamJack

Relationship Suicide

Hello my loves ❤ This week, we will be focusing on the negative aspects of relationships and how they are perpetuated in the movie Suicide Squad! By focusing on the unhealthy, and somewhat abusive, relationship of Harley Quinn and the Joker, we will understand how this movie is NOT recommended if you’re in a relationship or thinking about getting in one.

I want to say two things before we start! One, there may not be as much humor as there will be with my future blogs, simply because this is a serious topic. Two, this week was very hard for me because I actually like this couple, just like many people do. That statement alone is one of the very reasons you should try to stay away from this movie when in a relationship. For us to glorify a couple who is dysfunctional and unhealthy can very easily shape the way we view our own relationships, as well as, prevent us from changing the relationship if it lines up perfectly with Harley Quinn and the Joker’s relationship. Whether we are conscious of these thoughts or not, watching this couple can cause misconceptions in relationships to arise.

For those of you who don’t know what this movie is about, allow me to enlighten you!

Suicide Squad is a movie about a secret agency who puts together a team of super-villains to fight crime after Superman dies. The agency believes this is a win-win situation because of three reasons:

If the villains die, no one will miss them anyhow.
If they mess up, the agency can say they escaped and have no responsibility over them.
If they succeed, the agency has a group of villains they can control while stopping the destruction of the world.

And while all of that stuff is going on, Harley Quinn and the Joker’s love story is brought to life! Take a look!

You know how they say you shouldn’t date people you work with? ….I think the same should apply for dating patients. My girl Harley really falls in love with the Joker, her whole patient, and gives him access to guns in order to shoot up the place she works at. On top of that, this man goes and tortures her after she helped him out….men really ain’t shit!

I sat down with my cousin, who wishes to remain anonymous, and had her talk to me about her past relationship. The reason I did this is because she was previously in an abusive relationship and she was the one who actually suggested I do Suicide Squad. According to her, this is one movie that does a good job showing you what you shouldn’t want in a relationship, but somehow, has you expecting to see those things in said relationship.

After talking to my cousin and us working together to create this post, she thought it was best to break these misconceptions that are portrayed in the movie. The list is as followed:

You do not have to be with someone just because they stripped you of your identity and you feel lost.
There is a difference between sticking up for your significant other and being possessive.
You do not have to sacrifice yourself for your partner’s benefit.

Part 1

Just like what the Joker did to Harley, people do to their significant others everyday. While his style was a little more unconventional and cruel, including torturing her and things of that nature, it is still very much something that happens in this world. You should not go around thinking that you are supposed to be completely changed, to the point you’re basically a new person. Someone who takes the time to strip you of your identity does not really want to be with you, and instead, wants to turn you into something that they want. This is applicable for both men and women. There are millions of people in this world and while someone is taking the time to rip you apart and put you back together the way they want, there is someone out there who is ready to hold you together and help you grow to where you want. Harley chose to stay with Mr. Jay because she lost who she really was and instead became what he wanted. You do not have to suffer the same fate in your relationships. Be strong and find yourself again. ❤

Part 2

Please understand, it is important to know the difference between possessiveness and someone sticking up for you. I personally find it important to stick up for and defend your significant other, however, I also find that there is such a thing as too much. Every situation is different and so I think it is important that you understand that it is okay to want your partner to protect and defend you, but you shouldn’t expect them to go around killing people like the Joker does. Because of the unhealthy relationship they have, Harley finds comfort in knowing that the Joker will kill for her. That is a misconception you should move away from in your own relationship. The only real explanation as to why you should shy away from it is because it is completely unrealistic and un well of you to expect your significant other to go to such extremes in certain situations.

It should alarm you if your partner purposely creates a situation in which they have to resort to harm, the way the Joker does in the clip. This means that the situation has less to do with protecting you and making you feel comfortable, and more to do with them wanting control over the situation and an excuse to harm another. My cousin informed me of a time where her ex beat a man simply for looking at her too long. Situations like these are more worrisome than they are helpful. Please, make sure you get that as men and women we have the right to defend our partners, and that is something we should hope for when in a relationship, but there is a certain level to what we should be expecting.

Part 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTYM78H6HMo

In addition to the first movie clip, we have this clip that shows exactly what misconception you should break: That you need to sacrifice yourself for your partner.

Love is love and someone who truly loves you will not ask you to sacrifice things in order to prove yourself to them. There is no reason for you to expect for someone to sacrifice themselves for you the way the movie depicts. Compromise is what is needed in relationships, not sacrifice. My cousin sacrificed her family and friends in order to please her significant other. She had no contact with us and we never saw her. Til’ this day she tries hard to connect back with the sacrifice she made so she can get a part of her back. You should not sacrifice yourself, or expect your significant other to sacrifice themselves in order to make yourself happy. Harley Quinn sacrificed her job, her mind, her identity, her life, her freedom, and her sanity to be with the Joker… How much have you sacrificed or will you sacrifice to be with another?

For those of you who read this all the way through and stuck it out with me, thank you my loves ❤ It may have not been as humorous as expected, but just like there are good times in relationships, there are dark times too. In order for my blog to make any sense, I need to cover all aspects of relationships so you guys are better equipped with what misconceptions you should break. I hope that for those of you who are or have experienced and unhealthy and abusive relationship like Harley Quinn and the Joker’s (look at the comic books and old cartoons to see just how twisted they are), you understand that there options.

Below, I have provided both websites and hotlines where you could go if you ever find that the negative aspects of your relationship outweigh the positives greatly.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

https://www.thehotline.org

tel:+18007997233

tel:18007873224

Day One Services

https://dayoneservices.org/abusive-relationships/

tel:+18662231111 call

sms://+6123999995 text

50 Shades of Disappointment

Hello my loves ❤ I decided that we’re going start off with a bang! If you haven’t already guessed, Fifty Shades of Grey is one movie you should NOT watch when in a relationship. Since this is a movie majorly based off of sex, that is what we will be focusing on this week! That’s right loves, its time to talk about your sex lives!!!!! From the unrealistic scenes in the movie, to how it shapes the way you view sex in your own relationships, we’re getting into the nitty gritty.

Lets be clear on one thing before we jump into why this movie is a no and why I changed the title from Grey to Disappointment! It doesn’t matter if its a new relationship or a 20 year long one, this movie will surely give you misconceptions on your sex life.

You people with new relationships will be setting yourselves up to feel bad and thinking you’re awkward asf together, while you 20 year relationships will be thinking that you’re old and boring. No one wins by watching two very physically attractive people, with amazing attributes, get it on the way they do in Fifty Shades of Grey. Save yourself the embarrassment and, that’s right, you guessed it, the DISAPPOINTMENT!

Just to help you out, this movie is basically about SEX, SEX, SEX, and MORE SEX. Kinky, wild, and completely didn’t expect all that type of sex. Oh, and while that’s happening, an innocent, virgin girl falls in love with this hot-as-hell, scarred, dominant man.

Now that you know all there is to know, let me say, THERE IS NO REALISM TO THE SEX SCENES! The perfect example is listed below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz8OYTLjmE4

click here

Let that shit sink in. Watch it again if you need to. But watch it and understand that it is a load of bs.

#1 No one goes that slow when they’re getting ready to do the freaky!

#2 No one actually thinks the lip biting (Dakota Johnson did in the beginning) thing is attractive and your toes really don’t do that curling thing

#3 No one whispers that close to people’s face in an empty house

Part 1

For you ladies: The first bout of misconceptions you got from this is that your man is going to calmly, slowly, and lovingly take off the clothes from your body.

You know damn well that your boyfriend, hookup, friend with benefit, husband, man, its “complicated,” and, or whatever else you have, doesn’t even let y’all get through the opening credits on Netflix before you’re naked in bed. I’m convinced that there is a race in this world, that we are unaware of, to see which guy can take off his girl’s clothes the fastest. So, for all of you ladies thinking that your going to be feeling the clothes slowly caressing your body, you got another thing coming. Take it from me! Im in a committed relationship and you would think I never let this man hit it before. Don’t get disappointed because you’re expecting your significant other to take a minute to slowly take your clothes off and not pull your hair or scrape your leg when pulling off your jeans.

For you fellas: Don’t watch this movie in general. This little excerpt may just be about the clothes aspect right now, but you will really be at a disadvantage if you watched this movie. Shit, try to make sure your person doesn’t watch the movie either because you’ll still be at a disadvantage. You’re screwed either way honestly.

When it come to the taking off the clothes aspect, you’ll look at this movie and think to yourself, “maybe I should try that”. Even though some of us ladies would prefer a more controlled and moderate speed clothes peeling method, we may not actually want it to be as slow as molasses. First of all, thats where the awkwardness aspect I was talking about comes into play. The slower you go, the more we both have to do. The eye contact becomes more awkward and the mind starts racing with other things. You know why? Because as you’re slowly taking off our clothes, we have more time to debate if we want to have a sexual encounter, what we’re going to eat after this, or if we actually locked our doors before we got to that point. Oh, and also, no one takes off a bra that easily so you’re fine, don’t worry! Another misconception broken 🙂

Part 2

That. That is what you ladies look like when you try to bite your lip. That is what men see. You know how I know? Because I went on Google and had my guy friends and boyfriend pick the picture that was most accurate to what they see when we bite our lips. How rude. We put all this energy in thinking that if we pull it off, its sexy, and instead, people think we are trying to peel the skin off of our lips. My recommendation is don’t watch this movie because for some reason, you’ll have this theory that biting your lips will attract your partner, but in actuality, it makes them giggle like a bunch of girls. Also, the toe curling thing……just stop. There is no such thing as a toe curl that intense. You may get a little twitch in your toe from time to time, but if you think your partner is going to make them CURLLLLLLLLLL like that, overtime you’re in bed together, I’m sorry for your disappointment. Ladies, understand that it is a lot to expect of your significant other and totally a bummer if you think its going to happen frequently. Fellas, understand that you will not make your ladies’ toes curl all the time, if at all, and thats okay. Doesn’t mean your sex game is below average, just means you’re not like this unrealistic movie. **If you have made this happen as intense as Ms. Johnson has experienced, please leave your number below. My friend Crystal is interested in getting to know you.**

Part 3

Just don’t do it. Do not breath your hot breath in your significant other’s face. Majority of the time, you’re getting it on after eating something. If not, its morning sex or you just haven’t brushed your teeth in a while before the encounter. Its unrealistic to believe that you can whisper in someone’s face like that and they wont make a face or a comment. I have legit been able to decipher what my boyfriend has eaten before the encounter and my face was more of a cringe than a pleasurable one. You know you have experienced this too my loves. And thats okay! You can tell your significant others whats the deal. Ladies and gentlemen, say whats on your mind about your partner’s stinky breath without being a dick about it!!!!

Just a quick question though! And I want real, honest answers! How many of you actually whisper with your significant others?! Honestly? If you’re the only people in the house, are you whispering like this? The only reason I ask is since we have to whisper majority of the time to be respectful to other people, once we are alone, all bets are off. The sound level I feel is to an ultimate high because we are trying to make up for all those times we have to whisper LOL. Let me know!!!

After watching this movie, I swear to you I was incorrigible. The sex was good don’t get me wrong, but it was mainly that I still felt unsatisfied in a way. It wasn’t until I realized that I was unsatisfied because I felt like our sessions were very underwhelming and boring because we didn’t do what was in the movie! Nothing was good enough or wild enough and most of the time, we both were disappointed because we were trying to live up to something unrealistic. You don’t have to try and be like the movies, what works for you guys as a couple is better anyways. This is not to say you can’t try things out if they interest you. By all means, trying new and fun things makes everything a little more interesting 😉 But what I’m saying is, trying to be EXACTLY like a movie and their sex life is not something that will positively impact your relationship. Its best to just stay away from watching this movie because honestly, the realist thing in this scene was Anastasia being stuck with those plain ass granny panties for her unexpected rumble with Christian.

Bye my loves ❤