Tag: Mila Kunis

Friends With Benefits…Literally

Hello my loves!! I hope all is well and everyone knows I missed them dearly! ❤ This week, we will be dedicating the blog to all of you who have been, are in, or are thinking of, getting into a friends with benefits type of relationship! As per my awesome title, we are literally going to be talking about the misconceptions of friends with benefits from looking at the movie Friends With Benefits!!

Now, given the fact that there are a lot of these type of movies out there, I have taken it upon myself to give you some much needed background information! Take a look:

Two people, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, go through breakups that emotionally change them in different ways. From this, after talking to one another, they decide to forgo emotions and instead, just be friends with benefits. As the movie progresses and their relationships turn, they eventually move from the friends with benefits stage to the actual relationships stage. Basically, the movie is filled with humor, sex, drama, and, you guessed it, EMOTIONS!!

I know y’all are excited to get into the rest so, let’s go!!!!

You know how some of my blog posts deal with getting information or views of other people in relation to the movie? Well, this week, you guys get some information on me! 🙂

I know, I know, this is exciting news!! Writing this post was a little easier because I have first hand been affected by these pesky little misconnections regarding friends with benefits! The two misconceptions I want to break are as followed:

  1. You will be prepared or privy before having sex that you guys are in a friends with benefits relationships.
  2. You will end up with the person you have the friends with benefits relationship with.

Let’s look at misconception #1

Isn’t it so convenient that the two established they would be friends with benefits before they actually had sex and then had to encounter awkwardness? MUST BE NICE!!!! I always thought that, in order to be friends with benefits, a conversation like this one would be had with the other person, PRIOR to us hitting the sack. I was wrong as fuck…

Ladies and gentlemen, please prepare yourself for mid or post sex explanations!!! Very rarely, if at all, do people, especially in this generation, let the other know what they want BEFORE THEY HAVE SEX WITH THEM!!!! You can lie to yourself and say that you do but, I can assure you, majority of the time this is how it play out: We have sex, we see the the person looking at us expectantly, we then realize we have to get out of the situation, we’re finally like… “Oh yeah, I’m not really looking for anything serious, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.” Everything that happened in that scene, where they just casually figured out and came to a mutual understanding of wanting to be friends with benefits, is bull.

I’ve had three friends with benefits in my life and, each and everyone of them were not established until after, or during sex. I watched this movie and tried to have a candid conversation about what we wanted, and some how, the conversation did not really happen like this AT ALL. A bunch of nodding heads and whatever the case may be, but no clear understanding that friends with benefits were what was going to be happening. I have had someone tell me as soon as we put clothes on that maybe we should just stick to being friends with benefits, I have had someone tell me MID SEX that this isn’t nothing more that two friends hooking up, and I have been the one to say right after it that this is gonna be a platonic type of hook up. Moral of the story is, please don’t expect to be comfortable and knowledgeable on whether or not you’re in a friends with benefits with someone until AFTER you actually have sex. Most of the time, friends with benefits are established, however, there are also the times where you instead have a one night stand you weren’t anticipating having one.

Lets look at misconception #2

Okayyyyyyyyyy. As sweet and cool as this little scene was, you need to understand how unrealistic it is. I don’t really know why movies show that friends with benefits always turn into relationships when, majority of the time, they do not. From this misconception, we tend to get our feelings hurt and, in turn, hate the opposite sex LOL. We internalize that, even though we said friends with benefits, the other doesn’t actually mean it.

Me when you think that

Sadly, that isn’t the case at all. There are plenty of people who say they want a friends with benefits and strictly want just that. We look at these misconceptions in movies, of people living happily ever after, and think that, our friends with benefits situation will turn out the same way. Out of the three friends with benefits that I have been in, only one of them actually lead to a real relationship and, it’s my now boyfriend.

I know you’re probably saying, “well doesn’t it means it does work and you do end up with them?” The answer to that question is still no. Even if you start off as a friends with benefits, there is no guarantee that you will get into a relationship after. With me, I probably shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with the guy I was casually having sex with, since now, we are a constant on an off again relationship. This is not to say that relationships cannot happen after being friends with benefits, its just to say not to expect for it to happen, as it usually doesn’t.

So, we’re at the end and, while I know most of you are not into this type of relationship, there are many people who are. I just want to make sure you’re all aware that, not all the time is a serious relationship necessary, and that having a friends with benefits situation can actually be beneficial. With this, it can only be beneficial if you break the misconceptions that help aid to the destruction of them or your hatred for the person you do it with. Not everything works out or turns into a relationship and, we must understand that we cannot get mad if, in this situation, a relationship is not produced. Friends with benefits has gained popularity over the years and, for those of whom want to partake, you must understand that, not all the time will be prepared for the outcome. While you predict  what will happen, you can communicate with your partner and see where they may want to go with the situation. Enjoy something as jovial, new, and exciting as a friends with benefits, but understand that the misconceptions they present can be the downfall more to your self esteem, as well as, your situationship.

SIDE NOTE: MY OPINION IS YOUR FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS SHOULD BE WITH AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON WTH GREAT ASSETS!!!! 😉

Forgetting Whatstheirface

Hello my loves!! Yes, I did mean for the title to look that way so, please don’t try to come at my grammar/spelling! Thanks 🙂 Second, we’re going to talk all about those misconceptions found within Forgetting Sarah Marshall! With the focus on unwanted breakups and the components found in them, we will be going on this journey of breaking harmful misconceptions together!

For those of you who have no idea what this movie is about, here is a helpful description to help you along:

A guy gets dumped by his actor girlfriend and is so heartbroken, he can’t seem to let it go. In the hopes of trying to heal from the breakup, he goes on a trip to Hawaii, where he runs into his ex and her new man. While still trying to figure out if he wants his ex back or not, he creates a bond with another girl while all types of funny drama unfolds during the trip.

Glad that we’re all on the same page! Let’s move on!

As I’m sure you can all agree, I’ve never been a predictable girl! That being the case, we will be focusing on understanding certain aspects of a breakup, not just breaking up as a general topic. From this movie, we will be breaking the misconceptions that:

  1. The person who breaks up with their partner will be unfazed by the situation.
  2. The person who breaks up with the other is a terrible person because they don’t want to be with their partner anymore.

I have provided two clips that will help you understand why these are really good misconceptions to break.

WARNING: SHITTY QUALITY CLIP BELOW

Other than the person recording having terrible camera using skills, the scene can make you believe that Sarah is a terrible person for not wanting to be with Peter anymore. Firstly, breakups are subjective and personal. This means that every situation is different, even if it seems similar to others, and they can bring out emotions based off of our own feelings. That being said, we must understand that we are human beings and, sometimes, intentionally or not, we can find someone else we want to be with when in a relationship. While there is a difference between actively searching and accidentally finding someone, there is still a chance for a person to break up with another and not be a terrible person because of this cause of breakup.

SIDE NOTE: THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT CHEATING, DISHONESTY, AND CREEPING ARE ACCEPTABLE WHEN FINDING SOMEONE ELSE. The acts are wrong, even if the ultimate decision does not make you a bad person.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CLIP IS REALLLLL RATED R. Please feel free to skip to 40 seconds and watch from there. It includes less sexual craziness and may not make you that uncomfortable. Also, just click the link if the video doesn’t work!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_492176&feature=iv&list=PL0AE13218BCCF033D&src_vid=T4Sk7RsIQd0&v=RvNuTuiKyIo

click here 

Okay, bare with me! The reason I chose this clip over many others is because, in this scene, you see that both of the exes are putting on a show in order to affect the other. While we already knew Peter was affected by the breakup, we didn’t think that Sarah was too, since she broke up with him. That’s the misconception we need to break; that because you breakup with someone, it means you’ll be unfazed and not care. This is not true at all and, honestly, is unfair to both people in the relationship to think in this way. It is unfair to the person who gets dumped because you’re insinuating that they are easy to move on from, and its is unfair to the person who does the dumping because you are claiming they are just a terrible person.

We need to understand that, a lot of the times, no matter the situation, we will be fazed by ending a relationship. Regardless of the amount of time spent in the relationship, both people may feel something at some point or another because of the change of no longer being in the relationship. In many cases, people don’t show they are fazed by the change of the relationship until the other person is no longer paying mind to the change. For example, Sarah was fine and content with her new man until she saw the way in which Peter was with Rachel. At that point, she started to make it more and more obvious that, even if she says she wasn’t, she was affected by the breakup as well. It happens to the best of us and, no matter how hard we try to play it off, we are all affected in some shape or form from a breakup, even if not in the exact same way as our ex partner.

We are all fazed….it just takes us all different times to realize it!

As we have reached the end of this post, I just want to make sure you’re all aware that, not everything works out the way we hope or expect it will. As being in relationships or thinking about getting into one, we must understand that, not all the time will be prepared for the end. We pray that the day will never come but, it very may might. While I cannot help you predict if it will, I can help you understand the aspects that make up unwanted breakups, and help you figure out which misconceptions to break int regards to them. Take the time you need to heal and understand that, while the other person may have hurt you, they too are affected by the situation and they aren’t an asshole because they decided to leave you.

PIECE OF ADVACE: Relationships are 50/50 chance things. There is a 50% chance that you guys will crash and burn at any given time, whether 2 hours in or 10 years together. And there is a 50% chance that you guys will make it through and stick it out. Regardless of which path your relationship is set to take, keep the lessons it taught you and learn from them. ❤