Friends With Benefits…Literally

Hello my loves!! I hope all is well and everyone knows I missed them dearly! ❤ This week, we will be dedicating the blog to all of you who have been, are in, or are thinking of, getting into a friends with benefits type of relationship! As per my awesome title, we are literally going to be talking about the misconceptions of friends with benefits from looking at the movie Friends With Benefits!!

Now, given the fact that there are a lot of these type of movies out there, I have taken it upon myself to give you some much needed background information! Take a look:

Two people, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, go through breakups that emotionally change them in different ways. From this, after talking to one another, they decide to forgo emotions and instead, just be friends with benefits. As the movie progresses and their relationships turn, they eventually move from the friends with benefits stage to the actual relationships stage. Basically, the movie is filled with humor, sex, drama, and, you guessed it, EMOTIONS!!

You know how some of my blog posts deal with getting information or views of other people in relation to the movie? Well, this week, you guys get some information on me! 🙂

I know, I know, this is exciting news!! Writing this post was a little easier because I have first hand been affected by these pesky little misconnections regarding friends with benefits! The two misconceptions I want to break are as followed:

1. You will be prepared or privy before having sex that you guys are in a friends with benefits relationships.
2. You will end up with the person you have the friends with benefits relationship with.

Let’s look at misconception #1

Isn’t it so convenient that the two established they would be friends with benefits before they actually had sex and then had to encounter awkwardness? MUST BE NICE!!!! I always thought that, in order to be friends with benefits, a conversation like this one would be had with the other person, PRIOR to us hitting the sack. I was wrong as fuck…

Ladies and gentlemen, please prepare yourself for mid or post sex explanations!!! Very rarely, if at all, do people, especially in this generation, let the other know what they want BEFORE THEY HAVE SEX WITH THEM!!!! You can lie to yourself and say that you do but, I can assure you, majority of the time this is how it play out: We have sex, we see the the person looking at us expectantly, we then realize we have to get out of the situation, we’re finally like… “Oh yeah, I’m not really looking for anything serious, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.” Everything that happened in that scene, where they just casually figured out and came to a mutual understanding of wanting to be friends with benefits, is bull.

I’ve had three friends with benefits in my life and, each and everyone of them were not established until after, or during sex. I watched this movie and tried to have a candid conversation about what we wanted, and some how, the conversation did not really happen like this AT ALL. A bunch of nodding heads and whatever the case may be, but no clear understanding that friends with benefits were what was going to be happening. I have had someone tell me as soon as we put clothes on that maybe we should just stick to being friends with benefits, I have had someone tell me MID SEX that this isn’t nothing more that two friends hooking up, and I have been the one to say right after it that this is gonna be a platonic type of hook up. Moral of the story is, please don’t expect to be comfortable and knowledgeable on whether or not you’re in a friends with benefits with someone until AFTER you actually have sex. Most of the time, friends with benefits are established, however, there are also the times where you instead have a one night stand you weren’t anticipating having one.

Lets look at misconception #2

Okayyyyyyyyyy. As sweet and cool as this little scene was, you need to understand how unrealistic it is. I don’t really know why movies show that friends with benefits always turn into relationships when, majority of the time, they do not. From this misconception, we tend to get our feelings hurt and, in turn, hate the opposite sex LOL. We internalize that, even though we said friends with benefits, the other doesn’t actually mean it.

Sadly, that isn’t the case at all. There are plenty of people who say they want a friends with benefits and strictly want just that. We look at these misconceptions in movies, of people living happily ever after, and think that, our friends with benefits situation will turn out the same way. Out of the three friends with benefits that I have been in, only one of them actually lead to a real relationship and, it’s my now boyfriend.

I know you’re probably saying, “well doesn’t it means it does work and you do end up with them?” The answer to that question is still no. Even if you start off as a friends with benefits, there is no guarantee that you will get into a relationship after. With me, I probably shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with the guy I was casually having sex with, since now, we are a constant on an off again relationship. This is not to say that relationships cannot happen after being friends with benefits, its just to say not to expect for it to happen, as it usually doesn’t.

So, we’re at the end and, while I know most of you are not into this type of relationship, there are many people who are. I just want to make sure you’re all aware that, not all the time is a serious relationship necessary, and that having a friends with benefits situation can actually be beneficial. With this, it can only be beneficial if you break the misconceptions that help aid to the destruction of them or your hatred for the person you do it with. Not everything works out or turns into a relationship and, we must understand that we cannot get mad if, in this situation, a relationship is not produced. Friends with benefits has gained popularity over the years and, for those of whom want to partake, you must understand that, not all the time will be prepared for the outcome. While you predict  what will happen, you can communicate with your partner and see where they may want to go with the situation. Enjoy something as jovial, new, and exciting as a friends with benefits, but understand that the misconceptions they present can be the downfall more to your self esteem, as well as, your situationship.

SIDE NOTE: MY OPINION IS YOUR FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS SHOULD BE WITH AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON WTH GREAT ASSETS!!!! 😉