The Definition of Scary: In-Laws!

Hello my loves ❤ This week, it’s all about those scary, overbearing, in your business, annoying, but sometimes, unexpectedly awesome, in-laws!!! Now, while some of you are sitting here like “I’m not married so their not my in-laws” or, “I have a great relationship with my in-laws so this doesn’t apply to me,” shut up 🙂 That’s right, you heard me correctly, I said shut up!

I thought the same thing too, until I woke up one day and got a rude awakening. I’ll explain some more later, however, get ready to break some misconceptions about your in-laws by looking closely at the depictions found in Monster-in-Law!

Just to make sure you’re set, here’s the general gist of the movie:

Mama’s boy falls in love with a girl and then asks girl to marry him. They move in together and plan to live happily ever after. In comes Mother-in-Law who makes it nearly impossible for the girl to be happy with the boy, while of course, the boy is completely “unaware”. Mother-in-Law and Bride-to-Be have a full on war with one another and shit gets wild. After a full on slap war and both ladies trying to drive the other out, everyone lives happily ever after!

Now, because this is totally unrealistic, with the ways in which they try to get rid of each other, it is a very great example of a movie NOT to watch when in a relationship.

Here’s the thing you need to understand about in-laws: They are not always who they claim to be. This is true for all people, however, in-laws take it this statement to another level! In this clip, you can see the mother’s clear distain for her son’s new found relationship with Charlie, as well as, her disdain on his proposal. This correlates to real life because, even if they don’t show it, your in-laws can’t stand something, if not everything about you 🙂

The first time you meet your in-laws, they are completely different from when you’ve been around them over and over. The reason this, and understanding they aren’t who they claim to be, is so important, is because you need to break the misconception that you will be able to tell if an in-law likes or dislikes you off the bat.

Some people are masters at hiding their true selves and, I am convinced, in-laws created this art. More often then not, in-laws are not terrible to you the first time they meet you because they don’t want to get into it with their kid about manners, respect, and things of that nature. An in-law rather be phony to their child’s significant other whom they don’t like, rather than lose out on the relationship that the child and them have. So basically, don’t believe that, just because they weren’t mean/rude to you the first time, that they actually like you and you’re in the clear.

Another misconception is that your in-laws will have a big reason to not like you. You may think they don’t like the way you dress, what your occupation is, how you do a certain task, and things of that nature, but the reality is, that’s not true at all. Looking at this clip, you can see that the mother really doesn’t like Jlo simply because she take her son’s attention off of her. The fact that Jlo sips her tea like that just gives her more of a reason to hate Charlie(Jlo). The point is, in-laws don’t like you because of the fact that you’re drawing the intention of their child away from them!! All that other stuff is just a way to justify their craziness.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and some change and things were all good until a few months ago. His mother, father, and I hit it off right away and had a solid bond that, I was pretty surprised with. Now, fast forward to a particular day where everyone just got crazy and I had to hold my ground. His mother totally spazzed on me one day and I was so shocked for a minute, I didn’t say anything as sis was yelling in my face. Now, fast forward to 5 seconds later, I snapped out of it and held my ground and defended myself. All the things she was saying basically showed me that this whole time, she was just being “nice” because I was her son’s girlfriend, not because she liked me for him. That being said, I was not only aware that she was not who she claimed to be when we met and the time until that incident, but also, she didn’t have a valid reason for not liking me. Within her spazzing out dialogue, she deadass told me she didn’t like me because of the the way I folded her son’s shirts; because it showed that I was lazy……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

That’s why I told you guys to shut up earlier! Just because you’re not married or “you have a good relationship with your in-laws,” it does not necessarily mean any of those are true. If you’re dating someone and there is a possibility you could marry them, their parents are your potential in-laws. That means, you need to read this because this shit applies to you too. Also, I have already told you about how not all of the times will you have a great relationship with your in-laws so, that statement, needs to get thrown out of the window. Not one couple will have a relationship in which their in-laws and them never feel like they are on bad terms, have tension, or want to full on smack the shit out of them.

Watch these two clips right after each other!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hwd0rMPWP0

The reason I added both of them is because I waned to bring to light a very important topic: Being good enough for your in-laws kid.

The first clip is important because, instead of showing all of the things that Jlo puts up with and does for her fiancé, it briefly shows what Jlo does for his mother. What the clip doesn’t show you is that Charlie takes Viola(the Mother-in-Law) into her house, gives her her medication, makes sure she eats, makes sure she’s comfortable, and things like that. Highlityghteing that was necessary because, in the next clip, before all the craziness, Viola claims that Charlie will never be good enough for her son. Basically, Viola is trippin’.

I had the same thing happen to me. Since his mother already hated me, I low-key saw his father going down the same path. While he didn’t flat out say that I wasn’t good enough for him, his father continuously compared me to his son’s ex. On top of telling me that I didn’t do things like her, his mother was still being a she-devil sooooooo, you can only imagine how much I tried to do and be “better. From doing everything to cooking dinners, driving them where they needed to go, and things like that, I tried so hard to get them to think I was good enough…they never did and still don’t. Thats why I feel like you guys need to break the misconception that you aren’t good enough because your significant other’s parent say so and you need to do things to make yourself good enough. The way you treat your significant other’s parents when they are nothing but terrible to you, or even middle terrible, shows that you are good enough for them. You take on the responsibility of being there for your significant other, and their family, without expecting anything in return. And at the end of the day, no one can question your self worth or how important/necessary you are for your significant other if they aren’t in your relationship and don’t take the time to love you like your partner does.

All in all you need to break the misconceptions that in-laws are always who they claim to be, that your in-laws will have a big reason to not like you, and that you aren’t good enough because your significant other’s parent say so and you need to do things to make yourself good enough. So my loves, please understand the you are good enough and there are ways to combat the craziness that are in-laws. Be confident in yourself, your relationship, and have your partner figure out the right way to deal with both you and their parents. Having your partner in your corner makes the views of their parents, and the ways in which they deal with you, a little bit better in the long run. Stay strong and ignore the psychos that are, or will be, your in-laws! 🙂